Tuesday, April 5, 2011
We are finally home. It was a long week. The up and down roller coaster ride of emotions getting my husband home from Afghanistan to a trip down to the Gulf Coast for his Mom's funeral. Everything worked out right and her service was beautiful but it still seems so surreal to me.
I find solace and calm in the sea, and thankfully our hotel was off the I-90 with a view of Biloxi Beach. Waking up in the morning and drinking my cup of coffee while staring off into the water put me at ease before tackling the day. It was gloomy that day which went with all our emotions.
I know Mom is at peace now and we left an angel at her site to watch over her. This Mother's day will be different and so will all the other holidays. I am not sure if I have mourned properly yet, I just feel like I am still in a daze. The excitement mixed with sadness in welcoming my husband home to seeing family on the coast we have not seen in years. Sad that everyone finally gets together on such an occasion. We should have always been together like this when she was alive. Then this week I will once again have to say goodbye to my husband for his return to Afghanistan.
The events this year that we have encountered has tested not only our strength but our love and our dedication to those we cherish and to ourselves. I hope that through these moments there is growth and acceptance that will make us stronger for the future. None of us ever thought we would be saying goodbye to a parent this soon. I know it shook us all but hopefully we can carry on what she would have been happy to see us accomplish.
We love you dearly Mom and even though we were not ready to say goodbye, I hope that you are surrounded by angels and are finally pain free and in peace.